“THE ORDER,” a 3d ceramic series begun in the Summer of 2020 during my complete isolation during Covid, was all black and white. It sprang from memories of being put into a French convent La Rochelle at age five.
When Biden became President, I was greatly relieved after all the tumult & ugliness for so long. I started seeing pink. That’s how things begin for me…I see a color or shape in my dreams, my walks, or doing something mundane like the laundry.
I have an uncomfortable relationship with pink. Pink…the symbolic color of tenderness, affection, romance and peace. PAX, Latin for peace. PAX be with you. Pink the soother, has been definitively linked to toning down aggression, and its use in holding cells for violent criminals.
Pink for me however has another meaning: my mother, Beatrice. It was her favorite color and therefore I wanted nothing to do with it.
Pink is too frivolous for my pragmatic nature but far worse, painful. In 2018 I tried a few pieces in pink (you can see those on my Instagram feed: @filippucciart). Beatrice no longer walks the earth but when she did one could describe her as a wild boar in pink. A confusing dichotomy. You thought “pretty lady” but under the pink was a tough personality, a bristling, masculine Joan Crawford of judgement and meanness. The least maternal person you could imagine but there she was, a blonde in pink wearing pink lipstick.
Here’s why using the color pink in my work – with all its subtle iterations – helped me better understand her.
After creating numerous pink cloth studies over the last few months, some insight arrived. Not all at once, mind you. It kept tugging at me until I got it. My mother wore pink because that’s what she wanted to be. She wanted to be affectionate and peaceful and pink but because of an undiagnosed personality disorder, was the opposite. The total opposite.
I will only say this. Art saved me from pink, got me away from it, and then brought me right back to it. Finally, I did not look away. You could say that I found my inner pinkness. I am not afraid of pink any more. To Beatrice…PAX be with you.